Mommy with a Penis

Dear Dan Cathy, Boy, have you taken your hits in the news lately. And to be honest, I don't think the bad press over your statements shooting down gay marriage is entirely justified. On the Ken Coleman radio show you pronounced our generation has "the audacity to try to redefine what marriage is all about." I, however, believe you, as CEO of the overly-hyphenated Chik-fil-A, not only have every right to say whatever ding-dong thing you please, but you also have the right to donate your personal millions towards any conservative, bigoted, homophobic cause of your choosing. Unlike many, I don't consider your words to be full of hate  (a word my mother taught me never to use), you simply were expressing your limited interpretation of the Bible, ignoring basic tenants like benevolence, tolerance and love. It might surprise you--me being a married gay man with two kids--that on this, Chik-fil-A Appreciation Day, I write to share my support. I am not a market...

Jessica Simpson's cover of Elle this month seems familiar, doesn't it? And I don't think any of us has to dig too deeply into our sleep-deprived, vodka-soaked brains to suss out the reference. Who could forget the Vanity Fair cover that Annie Liebovitz shot so startlingly of Demi Moore's pregnant voluptuousness back in 1991? From the exact same pose, to the ginormous bling on their left middle fingers, to the fact these two celebutants are both carrying girl children, the Simpson pic is a duplicate of what some found scandalous twenty-one years ago. (Although I prefer Demi's arrogant in-the-distance gaze to Jessica's in-your-face,  Zoolander  directness.) But this piece isn't about who did what first, nor artistic integrity, nor is it about nudity on magazine covers, which for the record I am wholeheartedly for. No, this is about trends. Recently, Ms. Simpson announced that her baby girl will be named...take a breath here...Maxwell.  What!  For thos...

By now, most of have heard the latest Sarah Palin gaffe. (What? Another one? Get out of town!) While visiting the Old North Church in Boston, Palin made a horse's patootie of herself when presenting her loose interpretation of Paul Revere's place in history. She insisted Revere warned the British (?) and did so by ringing lots of bells. See for yourself... Seemingly unrelated, on Sunday, my little family went to a fundraiser for the Pop Luck Club, which is an organization for gay dads in the LA area. Sebastian, as usual, scored tons of tickets, sometimes by winning them at basketball dunking, sometimes by asking complete strangers for their tickets, and was able to trade them in for cheap ass candy and cheap ass toys. Michael, however, made his killing at the silent auction and raffle winning even more cheap ass stuff. He scored a camera bag full of random Pixie Hollow items (oh, joy) with Tinkerbell's image emblazoned on EVERY SINGLE THING (double joy). Didn't matt...

Hey, you're fat. Yeah, you. Reading this blog right now. You are really incredibly fat...and kinda stupid. And to top it off, you stink. *** This last year... Sharron Angle flirted with gun imagery. "If this congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies." In speaking out against the President's plan to reduce global warming, Michele Bachmann said she wanted her state "armed and dangerous" on this issue. She then went on to say, "We the people are going to have to fight back hard if we are not going to lose our country." Bachmann also quoted Thomas Jefferson, "Having a revolution every now and then is a good thing." Last year, Sarah Palin posted the following graphic on her website... The shotgun-like crosshairs represent the "20 House Democrats who voted for the health care bill from districts the Republicans carried in 2008." It turns out Palin is also fond of gun imagery.....

Well, it's been awhile my furry friends. It's a new decade, there are ten Oscar nominees for best picture ( The Blind Side...really? ), New Orleans won the Super Bowl, and Sarah Palin can't seem to keep her yap shut. I'm sure it's seemed as if I buried my head in the sand. Well, yes, all sorts of dithering has gone on in the first six or so weeks of the new year. But on this crisp and clear manic Monday I've set aside the remote, the joystick, the newest Dan Brown novel, for it's time to be present, and maybe, just maybe I will string a word or two together creating these magnificent constructs called sentences. Twenty-ten hasn't been all mindless avoidance. There have been torrential rains, caffeine free mornings, a tearful goodbye to my close friends carbohydrates, many many triangles of Laughing Cow cheese smeared on stalks of celery, reintroducing myself to the gym, hating the fact I made that reintroduction, a jaunt to Knots Berry Farm, getting cas...

It occurred to me earlier this week that I haven't written a Bad Mommy installment in quite a while. For those of you not in the know, Bad Mommy is where I commemorate various bad mommy moments. They could be my own personal missteps or newsworthy mommies who do jaw-dropping, unthinkable things. So, I'm shopping at Vons, racking my brain for bad mommies. You know, the usual crowd... Britney? Dina Lohan? Octomom? Mom of Octomom? When at the check out lane, this knocks me for a loop... Could there be a more flabbergasting display of mixed messages? Bristol Palin, advocate for abstinence , looking pleased as punch with her cherubic baby boy wearing a (popped her) cherry graduation gown and mortarboard. I was baffled...hit me upside the head...the entire last year was a dream...baffled. Teen pregnancy has never looked so glamorous! Now, I am aware there are a lot of mothers out there who successfully raised their kids in similar circumstances. And I'm not one to slap moralit...