Mommy with a Penis

Yesterday afternoon, I was listening to KGIL, LA's self-proclaimed, retro AM radio station. You know, Harry Belafonte, Herb Alpert, Lena Horne. And to announce an upcoming song, the DJ said, "Sit back and enjoy Paper Roses by Anita Baker." What? Soulful, smooth-as-smokey-scotch Anita Baker did a cover of the country tearjerker, Paper Roses ? Was this before or after Marie Osmond sang it into the top five with her "I'm a little bit country" vibe? As the music was swelling, even before I heard the vocalist, I knew the DJ had misspoken. And I involuntarily winced. We all have that place in the back of our brains that stores all sorts of ridiculous trivia. Some of which are at the ready for witty repartee, but the more arcane facts are buried deep behind layers of rat turds and cobwebs. And when those buried facts are dusted off and brought to the surface, I am amazed at the mound of crap I know. It seems at some point in my life I must have slipped my kn...

It's been awhile, folks, I know. I've allowed myself to sink into the delicious oblivion known as summer. I didn't have to get the kids to school. I didn't have to force my son to do mind numbing homework. (Sebastian's loathing of homework is only surpassed by my loathing of his loathing.) There was no speech therapy, no gymnastics, no car pools. Hell, there was no set schedule of any kind. Oh, sure, a smattering of birthday parties and a luau or two, but besides that, nada. I woke up late, watched black and white movies, and occasionally sauntered into the kitchen for food. I'd prepare it, eat it, throw some at the kids, and then go back to my room to see what hijinks Cary Grant was up to. I'm shamed to admit, some mornings I woke late due to an overindulgence in vodka the night before. But what's more natural then watching Bette Davis movies with a glass in hand? I must admit, on those fuzzy mornings, I developed a new found appreciation for the snoo...

He believes marriage is between a man and a woman. He then openly opposed Proposition 8. He has made June Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month . And yet he doesn't seem to be any further along repealing the Defense of Marriage Act nor Don't Ask Don't Tell. I can't imagine the juggling our president is currently doing. To say he has a lot heaped on his plate is an understatement. However at some point, he's going to have be a leader in these issues, otherwise his mixed messages will be as confusing as this picture. Great piece over at John and Steve are Having a Baby . It's gay pride. It's gay fathers and mothers. It's a lot of gay fun and yours truly wrote about some personal gay moments. Happy Belated Gay Pride!

I never thought I'd be that person. You know the type. Who would get offended by the words or actions of television characters. What she said is racist. That is blatant sexism. That kind of systemic ageism reflects badly on our society. Come on! Lighten up. It's only TV. And then I watched last week's episode of Criminal Minds . I admit it, I'm totally into fictitious serial killers. I am an avid fan from Hannibal Lector to Dexter. And each week on Criminal Minds , I enjoy the horrifically damaged psychopath who reeks havoc leaving bodies in his wake. Then the team (an amusing bouquet of FBI profilers) use psychology and socialogy and a whiz bang ex-computer hacker to nail the bastard. This show is not for the faint of heart. The killers sometimes use grisly techniques, and sometimes after the air date even I with my cast iron stomach can't eat beef carpaccio for days. This last week, the filthy slime bucket of a killer developed an anthrax-like pathogen, and rele...

For the following, sweeping generalizations will be made. Perhaps even a stereotype of two. So enter, fair hearts, with care. This is not for the squeamish. I start with a definition. Let me flip open my American Heritage. Ah, yes, here we are. Culture. The totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of work and thought. Culture has been an ongoing conversation between Michael and me since we met. We certainly do not see brown eye to blue eye on everything, however, we respect each other's point of view, which sometimes means shutting the fuck up. For instance, my husband wouldn't let Sebastian's hair be cut until his second birthday. It's a black thing. It's part of his culture. Thing is our son looked like a sheepdog by the time I finally got him in a barber's chair. Sebastian is white. So, if I understand the definition, my black husband socially transmitted his African American beliefs on to a g...

Let's start with name calling. I want you to think of every filthy name in the book. Every racial epithet. Every sexist bon mot . Every international slur. Every gender bender. Every sexual orientation slam. Balls to the wall, I want you to create you own filthy, disgusting, slanderous mental list. Now read the following excerpt from an interview with Joe the Plumber in Christianity Today . Christianity Today : In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level? (Pretty much the same question that put Miss California on the national hot seat. Watch out Joe!) Joe the Plumber : At a state level, it's up to them. I don't want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it's wrong. People don't understand the dictionary--it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, G...