Bad Mommy 1 & 2: Tooth and Consequences
Bad Mommy is new feature of Mommy With a Penis . It will show up sporadically, at my whim, and share fucked up mommy moments. Maybe they will be my own personal tales. Maybe they will be stories from the news. Or maybe certifiable celebrities like Britney or Jacko will do something even more outrageously stupid than driving with baby in front seat, or baby dangling over balcony. Whatever the story, whoever the parent, this column is dedicated to illuminating the bad mommy in us all. But just in case it gets a bit too real, I have DCFS on speed dial. Sebastian's second tooth came out. We oohed and aahed, got him excited about the Tooth Fairy, placed it under his pillow, and then promptly forgot to do the switch. You should have seen his fallen face the next morning, lone baby tooth in his outstretched hand. Somehow without coffee in my system my mind was surprisingly quick. I explained that the Tooth Fairy doesn't work full time, only Monday, Wednesday, Friday. "Put your ...