Mommy with a Penis

I was out with Michael and the kids at a child's birthday party when I bumped into my friend, Quinn Cummings. ( Klunk. That sounded like name dropping, didn't it? I honestly didn't mean for it to, but there's just no way to nonchalantly mention Academy Award nominated actress and now humorist author Quinn Cummings without sounding like some...forgive me...star fucker.) I always love my encounters with Quinn, she's intelligent, unpredictable and very funny. She was one of the folks who encouraged me to blog in the first place. Hers is a wonderful blog called the The QC Report . (I'm not sure if like in Stephen Colbert's show the "t" in Report is silent or not.) Be sure to take a moment and check it out. Well, Quinn noticed I had not been posting as often as I used to, which is true, and I remarked I'd been busy with my shows, however I just happened to write a post-Independence Day piece about people against New York's passing gay marriag...

"Roger, do you take Dave to be your lawfully wedded husband..." It's hard to believe that those words could incite such fear and hatred. That there are those who see gay marriage as the onset of the Apocalypse. In my own little world, dissolving Prop 8 actually seems the natural course of things, however the same ruling has caused others to mutilate. At the Craft and Folk Art Museum in Los Angeles, to which I have never been (something else to add to the bucket list) a sculpture of two grooms atop a wedding cake was vandalized. It was part of a group show called, "Some Assembly Required: Race, Gender and Globalization." The piece was created by artist Susan Tibbles, which is just a fun name to say , for a 2008 op-ed piece in the LA Times entitled Marriage Isn't the Half of It , by Nancy D. Polikoff. The museum's publicity coordinator recounted, "The two guys were unfortunately torn off and thrown about the gallery along with some other embellishmen...

Yesterday's front page of the Los Angeles Times blared, "Ban on gay marriage overturned." Now, don't get me wrong, I'm elated that Prop 8 was kicked in the nads. Well, maybe not elated, more like cautious. I couldn't quite revel like the thousands of other gays and lesbians who partied hard two night ago in West Hollywood, the Castro and the Little Caesar's in Pacoima. You see, I'm having a difficult time trusting Judge Walker's landmark ruling will hold, as I've had a difficult time trusting my legal marriage will remain, well, legal...I don't care what anyone says, it will always be a marriage. All it takes these days is some Bible thumping organization, or Target trust fund baby, or a state like Utah to throw a gazillion dollars towards the appeal and we'll be right back at square one, or maybe, square negative seventy-eight, and my kids will be bastards once again. I know, I know, it's an ugly word, bastards . But my children...

It doesn't seems to matter where you are in this country, almost everyone knows about California's anti gay marriage bill, Proposition 8, which passed November 2008. Of course, this is not the last we will hear of this. Especially, since eighteen thousand gay couples were able to get married in the four month window following the California Supreme Court's ruling, and since the election that availability is no more. Michael and I (and seventeen thousand-nine-hundred-ninety-nine couples) are married but Glenda and Gertrude in Fresno are now legally forbidden to do so. Where's the logic in that? My argument on this subject hasn't changed: What about my children? The far right have often pulled out the chestnut, "what about the children" to any topic they can apply it to. And ProtectMarriage.com, the group who placed Prop 8 on the ballot in the first place, say they are about marriage and family. "California's constitutional marriage amendment exist...

He believes marriage is between a man and a woman. He then openly opposed Proposition 8. He has made June Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month . And yet he doesn't seem to be any further along repealing the Defense of Marriage Act nor Don't Ask Don't Tell. I can't imagine the juggling our president is currently doing. To say he has a lot heaped on his plate is an understatement. However at some point, he's going to have be a leader in these issues, otherwise his mixed messages will be as confusing as this picture. Great piece over at John and Steve are Having a Baby . It's gay pride. It's gay fathers and mothers. It's a lot of gay fun and yours truly wrote about some personal gay moments. Happy Belated Gay Pride!

Let's get something straight . (Perhaps an unfortunate choice of word.) The consolation prize does not work. This is not like getting second place, the a red ribbon. I will not get up and say it was an honor just to be nominated . This was not we'll do better next time or congratulations or be a sport . This was a heart wrenching decision. So, even though I appreciate the well wishers who chimed in, at least your marriage is still legal, my heart is tight in my chest, my brain screaming. Prop 8 was unfortunately upheld by the California Supreme Court, and in a confounding display of decision making, so were the eighteen thousand same sex marriages that were performed between June and November of last year. Upheld. I'm still married. But my brothers and sisters who didn't take advantage of the four month window cannot. I do not feel victorious. People want to tell me about the bright side . But I don't need any one to pacify me right now. My anger will serve me. My...

Exactly one hour before the California Supreme Court rules on whether to uphold Prop 8, I needed some validation and I think I found it... The National Organization for Marriage...gave me hives just typing it...the group against gay marriage because somehow it will ruin opposite marriage in some sort of hush hush conspiratorial way, has proudly posted the following Stephen Colbert clip on their website. “I’ve always thought Stephen Colbert was a double-agent, pretending to pretend to be a conservative, to pull one over Hollywood. Now I’m sure,” said Maggie Gallagher, President of the National Organization for Marriage. Maggie, sweetheart, I think you missed the biting satire that is the genius of The Colbert Report. The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad colbertnation.com Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Keyboard Cat One more thing, Maggie, darling, Stephen and I were the only guys to be transferred Junior year into...

We got it! In the mail today. A piece of paper never felt more important. Engraved, signed, and dated with a seal. It doesn't define us. I refuse for it to define us. But how am I not to feel that much more validated by society? My head doesn't hang as low. My eyes don't dart as much. My knees don't buckle. I'll admit, we were scared it would never arrive in our mailbox. Our state is in such a state we were afraid to believe... Why is this taking so long? We have to be patient. We should have heard something by now. These things take time. I don't think we're getting it. Don't say that. It happened in October, it's now May. They're backed up, that's all it is. That's seven months ago. Bureaucratic red tape. The whole thing's a hoax, I'm telling you. No, it's not. That's it, let's move to Iowa! In a time when the definition of marriage is questioned daily, in a time when we in California are waiting on pins and needles...

Writing about gay marriage in the previous post made me think of the following story... Once upon a time, Little Chicken was living his fab twinkbottom life in West Hollywood when he stumbled upon the fact that Burger King gave money in support of Prop 8. He said to himself, "They think heterosexual marriage is more legit than homosexual marriage." And with that, Little Chicken flipped his apricot lowlights and said, "The lie is galling. The lie is galling! I must go to the Times and expose Burger King." On the way to the Times Office Downtown, Little Chicken ran into his bulldyke buddy Henna Placenta (not her real name) who was coming out of her tattoo parlor. Little Chicken called out to her, "Henna Placenta, Henna Placenta, did you hear Burger King gave money in support of Prop 8?" Henna Placenta torqued her head, cracked her neck and said, "That makes my blood boil. But what can we do?" "Well, I'm on my way to the Times Office Downto...

Rejection is a bitch. And as an actor it's routine. I've never had the proverbial "Next" shouted out to me in the middle of an audition, however, I certainly have seen befuddled casting directors with that "don't call us, we'll call you" look on their faces. And to be honest, I have blown chunks on the rare occasion. Rejection in those instances is not surprising. However, when you know you've kicked ass, when the air in the room crackles with your brilliance, when the casting folks are slack jawed, bathing in the glow of your talent, and still they don't cast you, that really sucks a sow's teet. Usually there is no reason offered for the rejection. The other actor may have been a bit taller or blonder. Or maybe casting really liked his knit shirt. Since September, I've auditioned twice for the theatre where my husband is artistic director. You would automatically think, " Wife of ...he must get some nifty perks." But aside...