Mommy with a Penis

Self promotion can be so tawdry, just ask Donald Trump. However, I will brave the possible negative fallout and toot my own horn. My blogging has fallen short as of late because I am in middle of two rehearsal processes. That's right, Mommy is performing! Opening on June 3rd is Invincible: The Legend of Billie Jean . The title might tickle a memory synapse (or whatever the fuck it is), for back in the big-haired eighties The Legend of Billie Jean was a movie starring Helen Slater. (Ah, Helen Slater...that harkens back, doesn't it? Her name brings to mind other eighties luminaries, such as Jan Michael Vincent, Judge Reinhold, Molly Ringwald and Cher.) Well, a few liberties have been taken with our Billie Jean. Okay, maybe not a few...a whole battalion of liberties have been taken with our Billie Jean . (And no, this is not about tennis great, Billie Jean King, nor is it about the character in Michael Jackson's hit song.) Our show is...oh, what's the word...campy. Big ...

My one man show, Mommy With a Penis , is back on the boards! From adoption hiccups, to choosing the right baby name, to dealing with my daughter's kinky hair, Mommy With a Penis delves into my personal experiences as mommy. Enter into my wacky world where sometimes this happens... And this... And even this... For those of you not in the loop, I first mounted MWAP last June for the Hollywood Fringe Festival. I was then asked to participate in Theatre Asylum's The Best of the Fringe. And now, my good friend Kimleigh Smith (the superhero in the poster below) has put together an event called Delicious , which is comprised of six solo shows including her own, which won Best of the Fringe last year. I will be sharing my evenings with my good friend Ramsey Brown, who is performing her hysterically funny show, Killing It . (Ramsey is the sluttishly dressed blond in the poster.) For those of you in the Los Angeles area, the pertinent info is as follows... From potty training to the ca...

One hundred sounds really old, doesn't it? Come to think, I don't think I've ever met anyone who was one hundred. But this isn't about any one , and we're certainly not celebrating any thing that has achieved one hundred status. I've not made a replica of the Hollywood sign with one hundred sugar cubes, for example, or swallowed one hundred fireflies. This isn't even my hundredth blog entry, it's my seventy-eighth for those of you who are counting. But this is a monumental anniversary, nonetheless. It's Mommy's birthday. And by Mommy, I don't mean Sally, my biological mommy, her birthday is Income Tax Day. No, today Mommy With a Penis is a spry one year old. Birthdays are usually a time for self reflection, for looking back at the previous year and weighing achievements vs. missteps. It's a good time to create lists for the upcoming year, to meditate on future blog entries. For instance, do I reexplore the train wreck that is Carrie Pr...

This title might not be as subtle as Sally Field's Oscar acceptance speech for Places in the Heart , "You like me, right now, you like me!" However, in starting this blog, I'll be honest, I wasn't sure where this would take me: one man show, television pilot, Oprah's Book Club. And while all of those barely simmer on the back burner, this week has brought some wonderful gifts and I thought I'd share them with you... First up, Vodka Mom. I was just doing my own thing, writing irreverent blog posts. And BAM , dozens, count em, DOZENS of comments came rolling in. Many of these new visitors said that Vodka Mom had sent them, that she would kick their collective asses if they did not click on over to my blog!! So I go to Vodka Mom's Blog and first thing I see is my picture. And the link. In two days I gained 40 plus followers, and all thanks to her. A big warm welcome to those of you who decided to drink my Kool -Aid. And a huge sloppy cyber kiss to Vodk...