Mommy with a Penis

In my humble opinion Facebook can sometimes be flat out wacko. For instance, I don't get the whole FarmVille thing. I tried it once for fifteen minutes, vowing never to return. Then the next day I found that one of my friends fed my cows and another friend found a mystery egg on my property. I have cows? I have property? Huh? And doesn't it seem that every Facebook friend wants you to join some oddball group? At present, I have 133 requests. It's out of control. I will cop to joining gay marriage groups, and of course I was fully behind Betty White hosting Saturday Night Live (which worked!!), but usually I just delete. Tonight, I read in an update that a few friends have joined the group Petition to remove Facebook group praying for President Obama's death. Quite a mouthful. But I was intrigued. I went to their Facebook page and I found this image... In my eyes, it's a legitimate beef. Praying for anyone's death is just plain creepy. How do these folks recon...

I have gone from gamely chortling at the silly applications on Facebook to patently ignoring them. This happened sometime after I took the quiz to see which of the fifty states I was. I remember clicking that I like large bodies of water and living near big cities and somehow with Facebook wizardry the state that is most me is Nebraska. So I haven't indulged further in these random quizzes, and truth be told am fascinated that others seem to take them all the time. Which Lost character am I? Really? But I'm about to whole hog embrace this craziness in the guise of scientific discovery. A couple of months back, in a moment of whimsy I decided to find out my Vampire name. The gobbledygook that spewed out was, The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity Beno Fey, known in some parts of the world as Incubus of The Lamiae, the offspring of a goddess - beautiful, powerful and ruthless. Beautiful, Powerful, Ruthless and Fey? Sounds like a law firm for drag queens....

Lately I've distracted myself with so many things: Humphrey Bogart movies, holiday pool parties, chicken pox, unpaid bills, celebrity deaths, vodka. I've been so distracted there hasn't been a blog entry, a Facebook update, nary a tweet. (Shameless plug: follow me on Twitter. I'm mommywithapenis .) Finally yesterday, I posted the following Facebook status update " Hutchins wonders what could be all that bad about frying up pork chops." I had no idea I stumbled upon a hotbed of controversy. The responses were varied. Someone wished me Happy Monday . Someone else gave me a gentle vegan/vegetarian warning: Don't get me started. A third person wrote out a yummy sounding recipe: Use a couple of spoons of olive oil and cook it on low-med heat for about 12 min each side. Make sure you add your spices first: onion powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper, paprika, crushed chili peppers. lemon optional. Make some white rice, red kidney beans and you will turn Pue...