Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Residual Check


Residual checks always perk me up. They're sort of a mystical concept. You never know when they'll appear nor how how much they'll be. And I, at least, have no earthly clue what sort of algebraic gymnastics the Screen Actors Guild goes through to determine what ends up in our bank account.

Today, when I found a residual check nestled amongst the bills, it was like Christmas in March.

Then, once again, I had that nagging thought that I should be more diligent in understanding the byzantine world of residual pay, but to be honest, I got a turkey to cook (guests tonight), beds to make and dogs to de-worm. Who has the time?

Luckily, it doesn't have to be a lot of money to make me happy. Just enough for a jumbo-sized bottle of Ketel One and I'm grinning like Carol Channing off her meds. Well today was a red letter day. Seventeen payments were added together in a single check. I can practically taste that martini.


Foreign Royalty Statements are always a hoot because you get to see which of our shows are watched overseas. ER, Ally McBeal and Monk make sense. They are/were all blue chip shows. But Switzerland really follows Yes, Dear? And Strong Medicine is big in Spain? I'm pretty sure the only episodes I saw of either of those clunkers were the ones featuring my husband.

But thoughts of Michael as Detective Paul Armstrong on Strong Medicine subside as I imagine sparkling bottles of top shelf vodka lining my liquor cabinet/ironing board closet.

Then I take a closer look...


Fifteen dollars and sixty-two cents! Seventeen showings and all we get is fifteen dollars and sixty-two cents!! (The episode of Monk paid the most, while Strong Medicine paid out a penny an episode. Told you it was a crappy show.) So much for Ketel One. I'll be lucky if I can buy a bag of Funions and a six pack of Bud.

20 comments:

Liss said...

Thanks SAG for the loaf of bread, pint of milk and bottle of the cheapest beaujolais!

Funny!

Nenad said...

hi.....
is my first time to visiting here, wow so nice blog u have.
nice post my friends...

Meeko Fabulous said...

There's the ever elusive bottle of Popov . . . LoL!

Diana - FreeStyleMama said...

That is SOOO funny! Don't spend it all in one place!!

LegalMist said...

Still, I gotta say, whether it's $15 or $15,000, to get a check in the mail for doing nothing at all (well, nothing new anyway) is pretty darn cool!

mochajavalatte said...

you're crazy as hell!! that's a bottle of rum and some diet coke!!!!!

Anonymous said...

When i visit the Los Angeles area the drinks r on me!!!

loosey said...

The drinks r on me when i come 2 CALI 4 a visit,and u can order the good liquor!

Vodka Mom said...

Hey, I'll send you a quarter and you can make it ...um......MILLER LIGHT!!


(I laughed out loud.)

Michael Rivers said...

Wow. Whatever will you do with it all?!

viridian said...

Some of your neanderthal readers are just excited to 'know' someone who was on TV!! Now I'll buy the Monk boxed set when it's released ;-)

john said...

OMG!!! Ally too? That deserves a special fruity flavored martini in itself. What did they drink? I can't remember.

CSY said...

WOW! I can now say that I kinda know (of) an acotr in Hollywood! My daughter is gonna be SO jealous! She wants to be a star!

andreanna said...

I live in Switzerland and any crappy american show is better than the swiss ones. I know i started watching strong medicine because nothing else was on.

surprised mom said...

Wow! Decisions . . . decisions on how to spend that all that money! :) And they say actors are overpaid :D

Erica said...

Mommy, just fyi, you can go on the SAG website, type in your username (or register if you don't have one) and check to see when your residuals are coming. Of course, this can lead one to obsessive checking, I swear when times are tight I check that damn thing several times a day. Also, they tell you checks way in advance. I'm gonna be real excited April 1st!
Much Love,
E~

Anonymous said...

Thank you, great work.

Henry
Publish Artilces

natalee said...

lol!!!!!! thanks now im thinking about running out for some kettle 1.. oh wait its 6 am..lol

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

My SIL is an actor, and gets residuals as well, and she just giggles when she gets her cheques. I think I might make more on my blog...

Do you ever wonder what you sound like in Switzerland??

vineyardroad.com said...

Sheez... I am SO thirsty now!! Haha! Good stuff, I'm glad I found you!