Gay Marriage Bashing: A Declaration

Let's start with name calling. I want you to think of every filthy name in the book. Every racial epithet. Every sexist bon mot. Every international slur. Every gender bender. Every sexual orientation slam. Balls to the wall, I want you to create you own filthy, disgusting, slanderous mental list. Now read the following excerpt from an interview with Joe the Plumber in Christianity Today.

Christianity Today: In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level? (Pretty much the same question that put Miss California on the national hot seat. Watch out Joe!)

Joe the Plumber: At a state level, it's up to them. I don't want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it's wrong. People don't understand the dictionary--it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do--what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we're supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. (And he fumbles. Golden Joe down for the count.)

I have a fundamental problem with godly sorts who hold up the dictionary as if it's the Bible and insist there's nothing wrong with calling someone queer. (I have an equal problem with religious publications that print interviews of this sort and promote it as spiritually relevant.) Honky, on the other hand, a word that I bet wasn't on anyone's mental list, makes Joe the Plumber righteously indignant. Really? Honky?

Now, I've heard many slanderous things shouted in the heat of the moment, from the playground to the locker room to the gay bar (that's right, sissy queers can sling hash with the best of them.) But never in my whole life, have I heard anyone use honky, with the exception of television characters on Norman Lear sitcoms. And even if someone were to let that pearl drop, would it hurt me to my cracker core? Probably not. I imagine I would be stunned by its impotence.

Joe the Plumber says queer isn't a slur. So, I guess I shouldn't take it personally when it's hurled at me with relish and ferocity. And even though my dictionary adds that queer is offensive slang, he might be on to something. From now on whenever someone yells queer or faggot or cocksucker (words that probably were on your mental list), I will not accept it as invective. But rather as a subtle caress. A chuck on the cheek. A butterfly kiss of affection for my homoness.

Now, America, you may not embrace all of us behind the lavender curtain. However, with Maine and Vermont and even Midwestern I-o-way jumping on the gay marriage band wagon, there are certain hard facts that you must face. The momentum behind opposite opposite marriage is undeniable and stopping it is as futile as stopping women's rights, the black vote, or Pam Anderson's next sexcapade.

Look at the backlash that's occurred to those who have recently spoken out against. Now, I'm sure both Miss California and Joe the Plumber have some lovely honky qualities, you probably would want to invite them over for a barbecue, but someone should have taught them not to reach into a heated political oven with only a dictionary, spay on tan and the rules of their church to protect them. Let's face it, gay marriage bashing is just not cool right now.

A quick shout out to Joe the Plumber's friends who are actually homosexual...that is, if you really exist. I am a parent. My children are surrounded by people of all ethnic backgrounds, religious beliefs, sexual orientations, political stances. And I'm teaching them that being a friend is an all or nothing, total acceptance kind of pact. (There may be disagreements, but acceptance and respect are key.) If Joe the Plumber doesn't respect you enough to have you "anywhere near" his children, thus putting you on the same footing with murderers, lepers and pharmaceutical CEOs, then I think it's high time to rethink your actual friendship.

The documents our forefathers wrote apply to all Americans, not just those we tolerate. I'm not saying this is easy for the collective US, but I feel it's on par with electing our first African American president. You may not like his policies, but don't we all share some pride that our country, with it's turbulent history has opened the door, even if it's just a little, to allow the next chapters to be written?

Okay, we've marinated enough. Rip up those mental lists, throw them away and read the following from the Declaration of Independence...

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.


Shana said…
I think about stuff like that a lot. I don't live in the US right now but I did for 5 years. When the Declaration of Independence was written, it didn't include everyone. It was men. White men. Not black people, not women, not anyone other than white men. I guess it is interesting to note ALL of the changes in the history of the country, my country too, in the last couple hundred years. There have always been groups of people who have been discriminated against for one reason or another, and I find it amazing the depths of hatred that some people have for others who are 'different.' The haters, with their 'just because' attitude are too ignorant to be bothered with.
But I also find it amazing the changes that HAVE happened and how in a lot of places people are very accepting of everyone. And THAT is very nice.
CSY said…
Bravo! I was taught to accept someone for who they are on the inside, their heart, their wit, and their opinion, ESPECIALLY if they were different than mine. This country was founded on FREEDOM. I love my country and some of the things that have happened in the PAST still horrify me, but I do NOT agree that same sex marriage is wrong...this coming from a married woman with a belief in God.
Anonymous said…
Here here! Very well said!
Sue said…
You know, my daughter (who is straight, not that it matters) headed a campaign office on Prop 8 out here in Long Beach. Like the bleeding heart liberal I can sometimes be, I wasn't worry, I thought everything would be fine until I saw the poll results. I was really saddened and shocked. What is even more bothersome to me is those that pride themselves on being Christian, yet discrimination is fine since they believe that is what God wants. Well, "my" God loves everyone regardless of race, sexual preference, color of hair, or even stupidity, he loves them all! Stand tall, great post.
Take care, Sue
Amy said…
I actually feel sick in the pit of my stomach when I read and hear things coming out of the mouths of the ignorant and self-righteous.

Activism has become my battle cry and I vote in every election and attend events to raise funds for various gay and lesbian causes. I also won't tolerate slurs of any sort. We need to stop that kind of ignorance in its tracks.

Your post is excellent. Big hugs to you and your beautiful family.
ciara said…
great post. i'm tired of all this ignorance myself.
Ivanhoe said…
Very well said!
I honestly doubt that he has any gay friends at all...
Margie said…
Very well said. . from a woman who is "straight but not narrow" . . love and huggs to you and your beautiful family
~Just me again~ said…
Well said! It's just so sad these ignorant people all over the place.
IB said…
Well said. Still, I think the founding father's were talking about WHITE men, but your point is valid nonetheless (here's to hoping OUR definition of men is somewhat broader).

I saw Joe the Plumber on Bill Maher's show a few weeks back.

Joe's an idiot.
This comment has been removed by the author.
I'm not sure if you all are contacted if I leave a comment, but here goes. In regards to Shana and IB, who say that the Declaration of Independence was written only for white men, I think you are absolutely right. However, in my research, yes I do research for these entries, I found that the Dec. of Ind. was basically a forgotten document until the Civil War. Lincoln then reinterpreted it to mean all men, not only white. And then later women were included.

As we grow as a culture we have to reevaluate...everything: documents, religious scriptures, the works. It's how we evolve. So, no, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams did not have the homos in mind when writing the Declaration of Independence, but if they lived in this era, I bet they would have.

LegalMist said…
Excellent post. And you're right about the Declaration of Independence. It was broadly written, aspirational -- not a statement of how things were at the time. At the time, the writers were living in British colonies, and owned slaves. They merely *hoped* to establish a country where "all men" could be free and equal. (And the Declaration's drafters may even have used the phrase "all men" in the traditional sense of including all members of the species homo sapiens, that is to say, including women as well.)
Our Crazy Life said…
What a well said post!! I still find it hard to believe that people find it necessary to state things like "I actually have some homosexual friends", like it makes them OK no matter what they spew out their pie holes. Do you think people are ever going to be accepting to everyone (well except those child molesters and CEO's)or will we always have such ignorance?
TRB Holt said…
Very well said M with a P...and remember Joe the plumber was is the McCain/Palin camp....I shutter!
Joanie M said…
Great post!!!

I have a gay friend who was walking down the street one day and someone yelled "Queen!" to him. He stopped and turned and replied, "Oh no! My mother is still living. **I** am just a princess." And with that, he walked away. Best comeback line I heard in a long time!
only a movie said…

Very nicely said, indeed.

Yankee Girl said…
You had me in tears. Moving and right on. I especially like the part when you mention taking those racial slurs as a soft caress. When people call me a cunt, I hold my head high and wear the title as a badge of honor.
MysteryChick said…
That mad me cry.

Joe the Plumber should stick to what he knows best, getting crap unclogged from the pipes!
kathryn said…
Joe is an idiot. I don't believe for a nanosecond he represents the majority of the American people.

I thought God said to love and treat people as you wish to be treated. Or am I getting that confused with the Golden Rule?

Great post.
I've been called a simpleton for asking, "Why can't we all just get along?" "Live and let live!"

My step-son has this HUGE chip on his shoulder and approaches everything he does just knowing that there will be multiple problems because he is gay. I can't tell you how many times I've pointed out to him that it's because he's a whining baby - not because he's gay! If there isn't a problem, he'll create one!

Just drives me nuts . . . I wish he was more like his ex (sometimes).

Tamis said…
Joe can't have any gay friends it is simply not possible. If he does they must be completely self loathing. Tell Joe to take his hatred elsewhere...honky, whatev?

The fact is it may take time but it will happen. Soon enough there will be enough open minded people this will all become part of the journey. This journey is what will make the reward that much will be fought for and earned! I believe like you, we all deserve to be happy with the partner we choose.
Elidet Reyes said…
There is a direct correlation with low IQ and high intolerance.

The dumber someone is, the higher the intolerance.

It's just how gang members are intolerant of other races.

Or how Miss California is on her new found mission from God to prevent gay people from getting married. She did, after all, refer to California as her "country."

My parents have been married for over 30 years, my father is an atheist and I have 3 brothers.

During one Christmas, I brought home my white boyfriend (I'm Latina), my brother brothers brought home their Filipina, white and Latina girlfriends.

One of my dad's friend asked him what he would do if we were to have children with these *gasp* other races.

My dad replied:
"It'd be nice to have grandchildren."

My dad knew what his friend was getting at, but my dad didn't give him the satisfaction of getting under my dad's skin, because my dad knows that race is nothing to judge about.

He taught us to respect people, and not to judge, because he was judged when he first came to this country and experienced racism.

To judge and have such hate for someone who is gay would be going against what I learned.

Some of us are just smarter than these haters!
C said…
joe the plumber
is dummer than dummer
he needs a hummer
from another gay plumber!


seriously, he's an asshole.
good post, stay strong, and turn the other cheek. thats what jesus would do.
krystal.hayward said…
Love the post! Very well said, and very well needed!
trashalou said…
Ignorance really is very unattractive. I'm with you on bringing up children to think, listen and question. It is the only way forward.
BostonPobble said…
Let me hear you testify!
surprised mom said…
Joe the Plumber is an idiot. Miss California is a disgrace to womanhood. I can't wait for the day same sex marriage is legal in all states. What century is this? Ignorance is not bliss, it's dangerous. Great post.
geelizzie said…
Why the fuck are people even interviewing this man? And why the fuck are people reading the interviews? My favorite line is:
"I've had some friends that are actually homosexual." Had, not has. Kind of like when people say "well, I have some friends who are black, but they are real nice people!"
Please, Joe the Dumbass, go away already!

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