Monday, April 20, 2009

Anyone Have a Spare Bucket of Pig's Blood?

I haven't watched a beauty contest in ages. I'm just not that kind of queen. As a kid I would always root for my home state to win. I would insist she was the prettiest, the most talented, had the best taste in shoes. And from what I hear, Sunday night was no exception for Miss California. She was the front runner of the evening's events. And then in this Miss USA Pageant, like in all Miss USA Pageants, she had to go through the question/answer portion of the evening. And that's when Miss California opened her mouth...


A transcript...

Perez Hilton: Vermont recently became the forth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not? (A tricky question, a basket of asps Obama doesn't like to touch, but still she might be able to finesse an articulate response. Mightn't she? She is a resident of left-leaning California after all.)

Carrie Prejean, Miss California: Well, I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. (Confuse me, when was this choice made available?) Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage. (The dreaded opposite marriage.) And, you know what, in my country (Huh?) and in (She does a slight Porky Pig stutter. Find your thought. Find it.) in my family I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. (And "I think that I believe that" you found your thought.) No offense to anyone out there. (Great offence to how you're butchering the English language.) But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be, between a man and a woman. Thank you. (Amen. God Bless America. Give that woman a baby to kiss and an assault weapon to autograph.)

Later on Fox News she said:

"This happened for a reason. By having to answer that question in front of a national audience, God was testing my character and faith. I'm glad I stayed true to myself."

Then we spiral out of control. The blogista Perez Hilton calls Missy C a dumb bitch, then apologizes, then recants the apology, then calls her a B again and to drive his point home, he calls her a C (not a Californian) and all on national TV. Carrie Prejean takes a different tact. On TV she says she feels sorry for Perez, says she will pray for him, and goes on to expound that she was only sharing her opinion.

Okay, then, my opinion... Perez, dude, you went way over the top. I'm all for the cause, but she's like eighteen or something, a child basically, and you're the one doing the name calling.

And Carrie, my inarticulate beauty, you're right to have your opinions. But you must realize that what you believe, or what I believe for that matter, should not have any bearing on our Supreme Court's decision. This is a civil rights issue, not a religious one. The Bible or the Torah or the Qur'an or Watership Down or Frankenstein or Goodnight Moon cannot be a part of this argument. We're talking equal rights, not beliefs. Because the God you so revere, who tells you gay marriage is wrong and opposite marriage is right, conflicts with the God who sanctified my husband's and my marriage in His church. Religion has to stay out of the final argument.

Now consider the following: "All marriages of white persons with negroes or mulattoes [shall be] declared to be illegal and void." This was put into our state's law in 1850. It was written by those who had strong opinions. Those who let their personal discomfort rule over protecting Californian's civil rights. In 2009, banning interracial marriage seems ludicrous. However, this law was in effect for almost one hundred years. It wasn't overturned until 1948.

Yes. Opinions. Opinions can hurt. Opinions have power. Opinions can splinter and distance. As you go further into adulthood, I hope you will become more diplomatic and take other's opinions into account, as well as your own. Mr. Hilton was wrong with his name calling, but his volcanic anger was justified. By staying true to yourself, your answer was a big fat loogie in the face of many of your fans. Perez is still wiping it off, believe me. Now, I did not attend the event, but there is no way you looked as beautiful as you did without a gaggle of gay men working you head to toe. Likewise, think of the lesbians who helped hang the lights, build the stage, make the extra trips to Home Depot. You spurned the very brothers and sisters who helped to make your night almost a complete success, Miss First Runner Up.

And I realize this is not totally your fault. You have been conditioned by your community, your family, your church, but now it's time now to open your eyes. Learn to be judicious, because next time you speak with complete disregard I will not be able to defend you with the youth card. And maybe when you're getting your tan sprayed on, or when your Christian boobs are being glued into your dress, or as you saunter center stage in your evening gown, someone you disrespected might just have a bucket of pig's blood handy. And darling, red is not your color.

58 comments:

David Peryam said...

Nice work, Hutch. As always you have insightful and cutting commentary. Thanks for spiting it out.

PaleMother said...

Oh man, that was good. I just read it outloud at the dinner table with a grin. (Ms. Prejean isn't the only one being programmed. Or un-programmed, as it were.) Well put.

Steve Heller said...

Nice, Hutch. I knew I loved you for a reason.

prozac said...

Both parties were at fault, though it is arguable if it was Perez or the poor girl that was worse off. But yeah, both of them could have used a bit more tact and a little more time to think their responses through.

Adriana said...

Good post. I always think it's interesting when people use God to support their ignorance and hatred. We turn a blind eye to divorce which is considered just as "wrong" to most faiths but "we" can't understand that in both cases marriage is also a legal contract that determines much more. I am a devot Catholic and would appose gay marriage in our church no different than I appose second and third marriages in the church. However I also support the seperation of church and government and believe that it is our constitutional duty to extend that right to any and all who seek it. Love the blog!

Vodka Mom said...

That was incredibly, incredibly well said.

Bravo. I would have given YOU the damn crown.

Miles Gordon said...

The girl's comment's were out of ignorance and piss poor upbringing. Perez's comments were that of an attention whore trying to grab onto his 15th minute of undeserved fame.

I mean, I've been drawing badly done comments on pictures since I was eight and I never got a career out of it.

But I'm sure it was a debate worthy of Crossfire.

OccasionalConfusion said...

Well said.

gmcountrymama said...

She deserved blood being poured on her far more than poor Carrie ever did.
Vermont Rockz!
Here via Vodka Mom.

Anonymous said...

I think we sometimes waste time over the opinions of people (Beauty pageant contestants and Perez Hilton...) who aren't deserving. Neither spoke for their respective sides of the argument.

I'm a Roman Catholic and I know what the church teaches. I was raised by a very devout mother.

My mother, who prays her rosary every evening and is very active in her church, called me when she found out that Ellen Degeneres was getting married. She was so happy for her. You see, my mother is a good person. She believes that we are suppose to love one another. That's ultimately what God calls us to do. The conflict between my mother's faith and happiness she wants for a woman she has never met are my mom's issues. If Perez Hilton asked my mom about gay marriage she would have to say that her religion prevents her from supporting it. But that does not mean she would not want everyone to find happiness in marriage.

Neither my mom nor I would vote against gay marriage but we cannot vote for it. That is our personal conflict.

I hope that I do not offend you with these words. That was not my intention.
-Kyleen

Kathy B! said...

This is the most eloquently written post on the topic that I have come across, and I agree with you on all fronts. Perfectly stated. Especially in regards to parasite Hilton...

Sandi said...

I love you even more! Fantastic post!

LegalMist said...

You're kinder to her than I felt, and I'm not even gay. I am so tired of close-minded people trampling on others' rights! But at least there is the hope of a better, more tolerant future.

Great post.

♥ Braja said...

I came here cos Vodka Mom told me to and if you read my site, the labels on my posts, or pretty much proportionately 50% (plus) of what I write, her name is in it. She adopted me. Now she's my agent. But I write all her stuff for her. Don't let her tell you it's her. She's so full of shit..I mean vodka..sometimes...

But I love her. Nice to meet you. And I voted for you. I have the same little badge on my blog; different category so it's ok, i won't have to kill you afterwards. And you're a parent. And nice. Which seems like good reasons not to kill you, so that's a relief.

OK the medication is workin'...caio for now...

TRB Holt said...

Well said.

Gaston Studio said...

You spit it out alright, well done!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

My first visit.... Like the way you express yourself. I'll be back....

Shana said...

Not having watched the show, as I am not into women being paraded around in heels and bathing suits with spacula-applied makeup, I only heard the conflict on the news last night. I heard the question first and I honestly thought her answer would be the opposite and she would be slammed by conservative groups for being too 'liberal.'

Your arguments were the best and I agree with everything that you wrote.

My first visit, coming from MartiniMom. I will be back because you rock

Nap Warden said...

You know...I totally agree with you. I almost posted about this...you however have said it better.

I do wonder though, don't you think this is an inappropriate place for this to play out? It's a pageant fer' Chris'sake! Can we get back to "I want world peace."

Perez...way out of line, and he so didn't help the cause by acting ignorant himself.

For the record...I was raised Catholic. My best friend is gay. I am pro gay marriage. But I'm not going to brawl with 18 year old Miss Whomever over it;)

Real Live Lesbian said...

What a damn good post!

i am the diva said...

real live lesbian sent me.
great post, i'm going to nominate you for Five Star Friday!

~Just me again~ said...

Very well written, my first time here too. Yes it was her opinion, but it was one that was planted in her head. I think her answer would have been way more different if she wasn't raised in such a close minded environment. It's so sad.

I never realized how many homophobes there were, until I came out.

Perez was wrong to be so snooty. But, there's one everywhere. It's almost like you're dammed if you do, and dammed if you dont.

Hammer said...

Forty years ago Miss California would have been tarred and feathered for saying gay marriage was ok.

Now in 2009 She is being lynched in the media for saying the exact opposite.

I'll quote Voltaire:

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

thedemigod said...

Here via Real Live Lesbian and Vodkamom. This brought a tear to my eye, and a LOT of cheer in my day. :)

Well done!

Going on my feedreader! :)

Karie said...

Wow... I love you. Point well made!

Bina said...

You said it all very well. As I told my husband, "She gave her opinion and how she feels, so no one should be calling her names. I'm sure Perez has been called names and screamed at for his opinion over the years so he should no better.

These two need to just let it go and move on. Her beliefs are HER beliefs and the rest of us don't have to follow suit. I sure don't.

Clausewitz said...

Oi. Parabéns pelo excelente blog. Gostaria de lhe convidar para visitar meu blog e conhecer alguma coisa sobre o Brasil. Abração

only a movie said...

Oh that's some good stuff. Nicely done. Love your blog.

justlori2day said...

Very nice work! I didnt see the pag but heard and saw all about it afterwards!

There are some other articles I would love to have you write commentary on! hehehe

CDB said...

Wow.. "opposite" marriage, huh? She is ready to go on the national stage. Oh wait, she tried that..

nice post!

blognut said...

Leaving religion out of it, I say AMEN to everything you wrote here!

Amy said...

Great post! I've blogged about this subject as well and feel quite passionate about it. In defense of Perez, it must be horribly difficult to continually hear that kind of garbage being slung about, but we should try to be civil, I know.

And, speaking of civil...this IS about civil rights and it saddens and sickens me that this country isn't yet beyond denying basic civil rights to its citizens because the "moral" right doesn't deem them worthy to be granted such. There are no qualifiers in our founding documents. They specifically say that ALL citizens of this country have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Okay, there. You've gone and done it. You've lit the fire and now I must go put myself out.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I think you said it perfectly. It is a tough lesson she has learned in being political in a place it doesn't belong. I like what one commentered said about they would not it. Each to their own.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Wow...great post. BUT...(ew as a new reader shoud I?)...I think that she did NOT disregard anyone...He asked what she thought and why...she answered. I think that it would have been worse if she had said what she thought would get her the crown...only to recant years or even days later.
I am and always will be for gay marriage...I am for love and it comes in all forms...I am disgusted by some of the arguments against gay marriage...

BTW...why or why is PH judging anything...and how on earth did he become the voice of gay americans...ugh...that guy needs to have his internet completely disconnected...

I hope I didn't overstep...I would love to come back and read more!!

Christine Gram said...

It's never a good idea to ask Miss America contestants to give their thoughts on real issues. The results are seldom pretty.

Crys said...

I just found your blog and this was an amazing and great insightful post. Opinions are definitely that, opinions. How you react to them definitely say something about your character.

Lee of MWOB said...

Why hello!! First time here and what an eloquent post.
Just the kind of post that will inspire me to return...

...along with that swingset/Jody crush post. That one was just as awesome.

:-)

IB said...

Hello.

I am IB, friend of VodkaMom (aka Braja). I am enjoying your blog and have added you to my roll.

I will be back (or VM says she'll kick my ass)

Fragrant Liar said...

Nobody, but nobody could have said it better. Thank you for saying it for so many.

Jeanne said...

Well said!

Waiting for the day when my daughter and her partner can marry...hopefully, before their kids are completely grown.

Joanie M said...

Make that 112 followers! I'm here because Vodka Mom thinks you're awesome. And I agree!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

? I thought I left a comment...

I did. I came back to tell you that I voted for you.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Hmm. My last comment just was saying how well written this piece is and how much I enjoyed it.

Lilly said...

Like it. A lot.

She is a kid that learnt her lesson I am sure and will go on to bigger and better things the more she sees of the world. Gosh knows how I would have answered this question at 18 either. Obviously whoever was priming these kids up didnt expect the question. It wouldnt have been appropriate for a Miss USA to publically air despite her personal views (and she still is allowed those).

On the other hand, Perez Hilton knows how to work publicity and is milking this for all he can. I am sorry that he has been mainstreamed the way he has because of his belittlng of those in the public eye. Wonder if his opinions hurt Hollywood stars too. Or are they so rich it doesnt count.

It comes down to one thing. RESPECT. FOR EVERY INDIVIDUAL. Beauty Queens included.

Frozen Margarita said...

I've missed alot huh? I knew about this pageant, coz my husband's from NC and the header for yahoo news was "Miss NC won Miss USA" lol, no significance but it rings my bell everytime I read about stuff going on in NC. Anyways,damn, well said, this kid is encapsulated in a world full of deceitfulness where she thinks there's always sunshine and roses; and that if we're not straight people we won't be able to go to heaven.lol. Ms. Prejean,heard about preferences and respect about it?Guess not,listen to Mommywife... :) He's right!!! Right on!!!

Nomad said...

Asking a question about same sex marriage at a Miss America pageant is out of place and bad form, just like Perez Hilton would do

Michel said...

That WAS a fabulous post! Vodka Mom was right!!

My parents and I go round and round about this - it is NOT a religious issue; those freaks can believe whatever the hell they want. They don't have to come over to your house for a pot luck (and I kinda don't think you'd invite them, frankly, they're my parents and I love them..but they can be BORING!)

I'm not even sure why the hell this is a debate? Divorce is just as much an abomination for most relgions (read, mine - I barely know stuff about the others, but pretend to do so - work with me here). The gov't should stay the hell out of it - I'm actually confused why they CARE? or why it ever became a debate?

Anonymous said...

michel,
Of course this is about religion for those whose faith dictate it.

A large religious group in CA decided to oppose gay marriage. It was their right to do so. As it is the right for others to be for marriage regardless of sexual preference.

If you want to change the constitution of your state, work for that change. For that matter, work to add an amendment to the US Constitution regarding marriage.

I won't stop you, no matter what my religious belief. What I will do is pray for guidance, to help me with my conflict.

Kyleen

Schmutzie said...

You are being featured on Five Star Friday!
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/04/five-star-fridays-edition-51.html

LiteralDan said...

I'm glad you acknowledged that "Perez Hilton" was out of line, because he had a chance to take the high road and let the point speak for itself, instead of becoming the story.

Oh well, hopefully lots of people on the sanity fence heard how ridiculous she sounded and are rethinking things now.

Cassie said...

I posted a similar post to yours but mine was not nearly as well written. Feel free to check it out
http://tinyurl.com/dlqqfu Oh yeah vodkamom sent me :-D

anymommy said...

Too bad she didn't have someone as articulate as you coaching her on answers. A fantastic and thought-provoking post.

You said it all - it is a civil rights issue and not a religious issue. She is entitled to voice her opinion and I, too, would defend her right to do so, no matter how strongly I disagree. But...her reasoning is flawed and shows a gross misunderstanding of the foundation of law in our nation.

Anyway, you said it, beautifully and with humor. I enjoyed every word.

Tanyetta said...

She gave her honest opinion. If we agree with it or not, it's still her opinion. :)

tinycandi said...

I stumbled upon this blog post and...WOW. I absolutely love it. Well done!!

Out-Numbered said...

Dude. I'm hugging you through my tiny laptop. Your best yet!

Wendy said...

Hi Hutch -

Thanks for stopping by my blog. And I REALLY appreciate your level-headed response on your "side" of the issue, because I haven't seen it so much. The loud & rude commentators on both sides seem to get center stage.

I also appreciate that you cut this girl a little slack for her age. I could stand up & be articulate today, age 30. And when I am 40 I'll be even more articulate. But when I was 18? I was scared shitless to even speak, much less in front of millions of strangers. I would have butchered anything at that age in her situation, especially such an unexpected and touchy question.

In the name of religion many, many hateful atrocities have been committed throughout time. Christians find it so easy to forget that we are first of all called to love, above all other things.

Whatever I believe about all this, I also hold firm to my belief that the government & all things civil absolutely MUST be separate from religion. Absolutely. It is the ONLY way we can all continue to live freely and worship as we choose, believe as we choose.

Whenever someone says, "allowing gays to marry destroys the meaning of marriage," I want to respond,

"if you want to preserve marriage, make it MUCH harder to break up a marriage, so that people will not enter into it so lightly, and will try a little harder to make it work. THAT will make marriage stronger."

Marriage in our country is a joke to most people. If I were in your position I would want to redefine marriage, too. I wouldn't want what currently passes for marriage here.

Venom said...

PenisMommy - I applaud you; this is the absolute BEST post I've read on the topic.
Thank you for pointing out that Miss C IS just a child, and a product of her raising; it's a shame this will haunt her forever, but we all pay for the misteps we take as young people who know no better.

My BFF is a lesbian, and if anyone tried to trample her rights in front of me I'd sure as hell have something to say about it. But you've said it all better than I ever could. Cudos.

petrenkov said...

It is very interesting for me to read that post. Thank you for it. I like such themes and anything connected to this matter. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.

Best wishes
Darek Wish