Saturday, September 5, 2009

Farewell Summer, Hello Life


It's been awhile, folks, I know. I've allowed myself to sink into the delicious oblivion known as summer. I didn't have to get the kids to school. I didn't have to force my son to do mind numbing homework. (Sebastian's loathing of homework is only surpassed by my loathing of his loathing.) There was no speech therapy, no gymnastics, no car pools. Hell, there was no set schedule of any kind. Oh, sure, a smattering of birthday parties and a luau or two, but besides that, nada.

I woke up late, watched black and white movies, and occasionally sauntered into the kitchen for food. I'd prepare it, eat it, throw some at the kids, and then go back to my room to see what hijinks Cary Grant was up to.

I'm shamed to admit, some mornings I woke late due to an overindulgence in vodka the night before. But what's more natural then watching Bette Davis movies with a glass in hand? I must admit, on those fuzzy mornings, I developed a new found appreciation for the snooze button. Go ahead my children, clog the toilet with pretty ponies, color the dog with indelible ink and eat pudding for breakfast. Just let Papa get another ten minutes of shut eye.

Last Friday, a writing buddy of mine gave me the stink eye for not blogging. She informed me that Mommy With a Penis has been MIA for an entire month. No. It isn't possible. I wasn't living in a somnolent haze for a month. Was I?

Evidently, I was.

I did do a show at the Comedy Central Stage in Hollywood, and that took some of my time. And Mother Nature distracted me with raging fires and clouds of ash. But more than anything, the unrelenting heat is responsible for my nonblogness. I swear, some days I melted into a puddle of maple syrup. It's a marvel someone didn't scoop me up and eat me with their waffle. So, I blame my withering blog on the heat. Followed by lack of schedule. Closely followed by copious amounts of booze.

On Wednesday, school started. (Los Angeles starts after Labor Day. How sophisticated, I say with Bette Davis martini in hand.) Barack Obama has officially started the school year with his awesome speech. (And shame on you parents who thought our president would say anything divisive to school aged children.) And so, it's time for me to come out of my syrup filled cocoon. No more flirting with the snooze button. It's time to be active.

To me, September has always seemed a beginning of sorts. Something to do with new school clothes, unsharpened pencils and blank notebooks, I'm sure. And so, yesterday, I went to the gym. First time in months. Perhaps I'll buy fresh fish from the outdoor market on Monday and hike up Runyon Canyon on Tuesday. The options are limitless.

But for now, I think I'll go take a nap.

25 comments:

The Bug said...

I was wondering where you were! You SAHMs are pretty annoying to us corporate shills - but I'm pretty sure there was more to your summer than vodka...

But now I have to go eat some waffles...

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Clogged toilets and colored-on dogs ... I can totally relate. Why are those few extra minutes of sleep always so damned costly? :)

Deborah said...

Still suffering from blogging malaise, myself. The weather ... and alcohol ... definitely allowed me to get my tan on and forget about any kind of cerebral activity whatsoever. I wouldn't have been able to summons the word "malaise" had it not been for this sudden sock-wearing, tea-brewing cold front we're getting here in NJ.

Welcome back!

Sue said...

Nice to have you back, and it IS difficult to believe that September has, indeed, arrived!

Wendy said...

I was wondering about you and yours the other day. I'm so glad you're all fine! =-)

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I too wondered what happened to you...I am glad to have the kids out of the house for a few hours....

Welcome back!

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

How weird. I was just purging the blogs I'm following, removing those that seem to be "dead". When I got to yours I thought, "Ah, his stuff is great. I'll give him a couple more weeks."

Glad I did!

surprised mom said...

I've slacked off blogging myself some, but not getting lost in the haze of summer. I got a full time job. While I would have enjoyed that drink or three watching Cary Grant and Bette Davis movies, but, no. No snooze alarm for me.

I hope you enjoyed your summer and your kids enjoyed coloring the dog. It sounds like fun.

Paige said...

I wondered what the hell was going on here--just when I found you, you hushed up. I thought I was the death knell

Gloria said...

I wondered what had happened to you! Glad you're back!

Out-Numbered said...

Dude. I missed you man. Glad to have your handsome mug back from the big sleep...

Keely said...

Welcome back. And hey! You brought waffles.

ciara said...

hey, it's ok to indulge in summer. i'm lucky that i have older kids. they know not to wake me cos summer is the only time i can sleep in lol

anyways, i've slacked off blogging and blog reading quite a bit. seems like life is taking over a bit. i also started school as well. just taking 2 classes, but it's enough to keep me busy.

glad to see you back...btw i like obama's speech. sadder still, no matter what the speech was like, others found a way to twist it in their own minds even after.

Frau said...

Welcome back hope you are all refreshed and ready to conquer elementary school math!

PaleMother said...

Welcome back! We missed you.

I threw my head back and laughed at the pretty ponies and coloring the dog. You nailed our summer perfectly. In fact, my summer hiatus was even longer than yours.

Ah, September. We started after Labor Day, too (Thank GOD). We slipped back into town from the beach like oysters sliding from their half-shells -- less than 24 hours before the first school bus turned over it's engine. Not the way a type A would do Back-To-School, don't I know, but we just couldn't surrender summer a minute too soon.

Let's drink to loathing homework supervision.

Cheers,

XXOO

D.

Gunfighter said...

Yeah... hooray for September. "Daddy, I'm going to be in band!... uh, I need to get a clarinet for class on monday"

But today is Saturday, and I got to sleep in. All will be well.

viridian said...

I'll admit here (but not on my blog!) that b&w movies or Top Chef or Mad Men, with gin and tonic has been too big a part of my summer also.

The Good Cook said...

There's something about a black and white "classic" that calls for a martini.

Hubby is playing poker tonight.. hmm.. that leaves me home alone with the vodka and the remote!

Welcome Back.

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

Welcome back!

Moonlight Hollow Musings said...

Sorry your summer is over, but glad that the temperature is now under 100 degrees and very glad that you are back!

Malisa

anymommy said...

Good to see you and hope the civilized start to school went very well.

S3XinthePantry said...

glad you're back to blogging again!

Homemaker Man said...

Hey. Another stay-at-home-dad here just checking out your blog for the first time. Your kids are beautiful and I enjoyed your writing.

PJ said...

I totally feel as you, that September is the the start of new things...

"...what's more natural then watching Bette Davis movies with a glass in hand?"

Absolutely nothing...

P

Shaky Jake said...

Must say this: I've never found a complete stranger's life to be so oddly entertaining.

Hmmm...

I'm boggled at how damn interesting the little things can be when you put the right words to them.

Just...I dunno...kudos!


- Shaky Jake