Tinsel Isn't the Only Thing that's Glossy

I had no idea this would happen.

Really. 

The whole thing started with an innocuous phone call.

LESBIAN FRIEND: How would you and Michael like to be interviewed for the magazine my wife works for? The article would be about gay parenting. Sort of like a real life Modern Family.

ME: Cool.

See. An interview. That was the extent of it. Emails were sent, phone calls were made, and before I knew it a photo shoot was scheduled to occur in my house. Now, one might imagine any photographer worth his or her aperture would provide his or her own equipment. But somehow the photographer that came to my house to shoot my family neglected to bring any lighting apparatus of any sort, and on a day that was fifty-two shades of battleship gray. Trust me, my bullshit meter was going crazy. 

The photographer busied himself moving my living room furniture around, trying to find a glimmer of natural light (knocking my standing lamp over in the process) as Michael and I were being interviewed by an appropriately inquisitive yet somewhat apologetic reporter.

bullshit bullshit bullshit

Like most "Hollywood" scenarios this felt like another never-to-be-realized puff of smoke. "We think your family would be the great subject of a reality tv show, I'll be in touch." "You would be perfect as the best friend to conjoined twins played by Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear." "President Obama would like to fly your family to DC and make you the poster family for gay, adopted, multi-racial, multi-ethnic, interfaith families everywhere!" (Okay, that last one didn't happen, but a guy can dream.)  

Needless to say, I didn't have much hope that we would be included in the issue at all. But in January and February, on the cover of Natural Child World, at a newsstand hopefully near you you very well may see this...

...my family on glossy paper representing the new normal.

DC, we await your call.