Gay white man, black husband, white son, black daughter...
Welcome to the world of Hutch Foster, mommy with a penis.
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My daughter applied makeup on the potty when no one was looking. (I don't even want to consider the disease possibilities of that last sentence.). Evidently my ex drag queen husband has his work cut out for him. Subtlety, darling!
After yet another incident of White people calling the police on Black people, my husband, Michael, recently wrote the following on Facebook:
Everyday I hate WyPipo more and more. It's because of how these incidents have increased threefold and how so many of you still refuse to be an ally and speak up. This is on you. We've stopped being listened to. This is on you. Every time you choose to not say anything to a friend or relative. This is on you. This is on you.
Someone reported this as hate speech and he was kicked off Facebook for 30 days. This is the fourth time in two or three years.
I responded with the following...
Dear Person Who Keeps Getting My Husband Kicked Off Facebook,
I have a scenario for you: Michael and I are driving down the interstate in separate cars. The cars are identical in appearance, we are traveling at the same speed, in fact, the only difference is Michael’s gorgeous brown, African American eyes reflect back in his rearview mirror, while my Caucasia…
It was 89 degrees when I picked up my beautiful daughter on the last day of H2O camp at the Rose Bowl Aquatic Center. I envied her her day; frolicking in cool waters while I whiled away my hours in a house with nonexistent air conditioning. I pulled up and saw my beautiful daughter sitting with her new friends on a grassy knoll eating an Otter Pop lookalike. It was the quintessential image of carefree summer life. Ah, to be a kid!!! She said her goodbyes, collected her stuff and buckled herself in the car. As we were leaving the Rose Bowl grounds Max rolled down her window, causing a backdraft of unwanted heat which interfered considerably with my much desired climate control. I looked back and noticed that the wrapper from the Otter Pop lookalike was gone. I slowed down the car and asked accusatorially, "Did you throw that out the window?" Maxwell gets very sheepish when she's caught in a no-no. She's mostly a very good girl. So, as she was babbling some sort of excu…
Now, before you go all gooseshit on me, take a gander... A young white man walked down an uncommonly deserted New York side street at one AM. Approaching him from the other direction were three black youths. The closer they got the more the white man felt discomfort. Whether this could be attributed to the time of night, the lack of fellow New Yorkers about, the dark clothes the young black men were wearing, or the conspiratorial air they were giving off, the white man couldn't tell you. However, he became keenly aware of the hairs on his arm standing at attention and the wallet in his front pocket banging against his thigh every time he took a step. He cursed the fact he didn't take the longer route on the more brightly lit, more densely populated thoroughfare. Just before the youths passed, they spread out, causing a wider birth for the white man to skirt around. Even with that obstacle, the white man took a larger-than-necessary sidestep to his right a…