Bad Mommy 3: Why I Oughta...
It was one of those days. My two year old determined NOT to be content. She wants the princess outfit on. She wants the princess outfit off. Hello Kitty t-shirt on with pink panties. No, scratch that. With Sleeping Beauty panties. She throws a box of cereal on the floor. Hello Kitty t-shirt off. Panties off. Yells at dog. Pees on floor. Slaps my face. For lunch, she wants chicken, cucumber, yogurt. She spits out chicken. Ignores cucumber. And knocks her Danimals all over the kitchen counter. She refuses to help clean up. Idonwanna accompanies each action. Her whine so insidious, I'm a vibrating violin string ready to snap.
Phone rings. It's Hubby:
MOMMY WITH A PENIS: Maxie almost went through the window.
HUBBY: (With terror in his voice.) What happened?
MOMMY WITH A PENIS: I almost threw her threw her through it!