Showing posts from 2015

Coming out of the Shade

It was 89 degrees when I picked up my beautiful daughter on the last day of H2O camp at the Rose Bowl Aquatic Center.  I envied her her day; frolicking in cool waters while I whiled away my hours in a house with nonexistent air conditioning. I pulled up and saw my beautiful daughter sitting with her new friends on a grassy knoll eating an Otter Pop lookalike. It was the quintessential image of carefree summer life. Ah, to be a kid!!!

She said her goodbyes, collected her stuff and buckled herself in the car. As we were leaving the Rose Bowl grounds Max rolled down her window, causing a backdraft of unwanted heat which interfered considerably with my much desired climate control. I looked back and noticed that the wrapper from the Otter Pop lookalike was gone. I slowed down the car and asked accusatorially, "Did you throw that out the window?"

Maxwell gets very sheepish when she's caught in a no-no. She's mostly a very good girl. So, as she was babbling some sort of excu…

The Sesame Seeds of Life Sometimes Get Caught in your Teeth

This happened...

Maxwell was trying to explain to me that there is a commercial on TV with a catchy tongue twister. This gave me the perfect platform for me to enthusiastically recite "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." (For those of you living the Amish lifestyle that's the 1976 McDonald jingle for the Big Mac.)

MAXWELL: (Flabbergasted) That was on TV when you were a boy?

MOMMY WITH A PENIS: You don't have to make it sound like that was so long ago. Dinosaurs weren't roaming the earth. But, yes, that was on TV.

MAXWELL (With mounting frustration): How do you remember that when you can't even remember that I wanted sushi after school today?

Point taken.