Jodie Foster is My Twin Sister
It's a little known fact that Jodie Foster is my twin sister. Get out of town I can practically hear you say. But it's true. The Academy Award winning, husky-voiced actress of such seminal works as Foxes and Freaky Friday (the original) and your very own Mommy with a Penis are sibs. This out-of-left-field revelation might not be too hard to swallow considering Little Sis's (I'm older by fourteen minutes) penchant for privacy. But with her unusual and perhaps inappropriate coming out at the Golden Globes, I thought I'd shed some light onto this lesser known fact and come out a little myself. I can understand if there are nonbelievers out there, so I submit to you the facts: most obviously we have the same last name, we are exactly the same age (which she blurted over and over at the beginning of her Golden Globe speech, thanks a lot Jode), we are both children of California, and we both prefer to cavort with our own gender. And if that doesn't satisfy ...